Sex & Relationship Therapy

What is Sex and Relationship Therapy?

Seeing a sex therapist is just like seeing a regular psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor, except that the focus is on sexual issues.

Sex therapy, psychosexual therapy and sexual counselling are all terms that mean basically the same thing – counselling is more practical and problem focussed, while therapy is usually longer term and involves work to change some aspect of the self.

See also Therapy FAQ

What is Sexology?

Sexology means the multidisciplinary scientific study of human sexuality in all its diversity, including human sexual interests, meanings, behaviours and relationships.

What sort of training does a sex therapist have?

Sex therapists come from many occupations, including nurses, psychologists, doctors, social workers, psychotherapists, counsellors, psychiatrists and occupational therapists. As a result, each therapist has a different lens, based on their training, background and areas of expertise, meaning treatment may have a different approach as a result.

Consider your context when choosing a therapist. It might make sense, both economically and practically for a highly anxious person with a sexual issue to see a psychologist who is also an accredited Psychosexual Therapist. Alternatively, for someone dealing with illness or disability, they might benefit most from seeing a Psychosexual Therapist with a nursing, medical or occupational therapy background.

A sex therapist should have completed studies in human sexuality above what was offered in their under-graduate training. Sexological training alone does not qualify someone to practice intensive therapy and psychological training alone does not qualify someone to practice sex counselling.

What does accredited mean?

At this time in Australia, sex therapist is not a protected title and is not regulated by a governing body. There has recently been an alarming increase in the number of health professionals offering sex therapy to clients who have had no extra training in psychosexual therapy.

The Society of Australian Sexologists Ltd is Australia’s peak accrediting body for psychosexual therapists and sexuality educators. To receive accredited status from the Society, applicants must meet stringent criteria pertaining to qualifications and education in human sexuality, continuing education, experience, and supervision.

Information on accreditation criteria and contact details for accredited members can be found on the Society’s website www.societyaustraliansexologists.org.au.

Sex therapists are usually active, asking questions and often giving direct suggestions, homework exercises, and information in an effort to support your goals for therapy.

How competent, trustworthy and warm you experience any health professional can have a significant bearing on your experience, but these qualities are especially important in a sex therapist.

Are they qualified in sex therapy? Are they accredited? Are they experienced? Do they have supervision? Do they listen to you without judgement? Do they show empathy and ask questions with respectful curiosity? Do they have some ideas? Are they culturally sensitive and respectful of your religious beliefs?

How do you approach counselling?

Lynda CarlyleI offer a safe, encouraging and non-judgemental space for people to discuss their sexuality and enjoy helping couples and singles look for ways to create a more positive, healthy sexuality, and happier selves and relationships. My emphasis is on pleasure and closeness.

I will assist you to process and move on from unmet expectations and disappointments by helping you find positive outcomes to problems, with practical ideas that can improve your confidence with sex.

My nursing background, training as a couple therapist and interest in sexology are a valuable skill mix for clients rehabilitating after surgery, accident or illness and who are unsure how to explore sexual possibilities.

I love working with seniors who are keen to re-kindle, re-invent or maintain their sexuality.

People with disability are invited to discuss options for expressing sexuality in a warm and nurturing environment and can source disability friendly adult products on this website or in person.

I have enjoyed working with gay and lesbian couples, and helping those who identify as LGBTIQA or who are same-sex attracted to resolve personal and relationship issues, building their support network.

If you have an unconventional view of sexuality or practice an alternative lifestyle, you will find me to be curious, non-judgemental and progressive in my ideas. If you are seeking a neutral and positive ear to run things by, contact me for an appointment.

I have an eclectic, practical counselling style, grounded in Systemic Therapy. I view my work from a holistic or bio-psycho-social (mind / body / relationships) perspective. I have experience and training in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Narrative Theory, and Solution Focussed Brief Therapy and am a motivational and strengths based therapist.

What sexual problems do you treat?

The following are common concerns that present to a sex therapist / clinical sexologist:

  • Feeling abnormal (in terms of sexual behaviour, fantasy, capability, physique, etc.)
  • Feeling uninformed or misinformed about sex
  • Feeling inexperienced and unconfident
  • Feeling unskilled
  • Feeling ashamed of sexuality or sexual desires
  • Feeling negative about one's body
  • Discrepant desires between/ among partners
  • Sexual orientation and gender identity (straight, gay, bisexual, transgender etc.)
  • Sexual relationship structure (monogamous, polyamorous, polysexual, open, swinging, etc.)
  • Infidelity
  • Negotiating kink relationships
  • Lack of sexual interest or a change in arousal
  • Difficulty maintaining arousal
  • Erection difficulties
  • Difficulty reaching orgasm
  • Ejaculatory control difficulties
  • Fear of or aversion to touch, intimacy, penetration or pain
  • Unconsummated marriages or relationships
  • Difficulty identifying satisfying activities for both partners
  • Difficulty communicating sexual needs and desires
  • Intimacy
  • Finding satisfying sexual activities after surgery, a health crisis, ongoing health challenges or with limited mobility
  • People with disability interested in exploring their sexual potential
  • Seeking resources (including finding like-minded people)

Some common goals of therapy include recapturing lost sensuality; adjusting sexually to life changes such as health challenges, menopause, change in relationship status, or motherhood; and becoming comfortable with one's own or a partner's sexuality.

If you have a concern about sexual addiction or compulsive sexual behaviour, please contact me. I consider this to be a sub-specialty of sex therapy and have expert colleagues I can refer you to.

  • GLBTIQ friendly
  • Kink friendly
  • Senior Friendly
  • JUST FRIENDLY

Australian Counselling Association. (2016) Scope of Practice for registered Counsellors

 

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