What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy, psychosexual therapy and sexual counselling are all terms that mean basically the same thing – counselling is more practical and problem focussed, while therapy is usually longer term and happens when people wish to work on changing some aspect of themselves, like self-esteem.
What is Sexology?
What does a sex therapist do?
It would make sense, both economically and practically for a highly anxious person with a sexual issue to see a psychologist who is also an accredited Psychosexual Therapist. Alternatively, for someone dealing with health issues, they might benefit most from seeing a Psychosexual Therapist with a nursing, medical or occupational therapy background.
Sex therapists will be active, asking questions and often giving direct suggestions, homework exercises, and information in an effort to support your goals for the therapy. How competent, trustworthy and warm you experience any health professional to be can have a significant bearing on your experience, but these qualities are especially important in a sex therapist.
Questions to ask your sex therapist….. Are they qualified? Are they accredited? Are they experienced? In the session, do they listen to you without judgement? Do you feel comfortable talking to them? Do they show empathy and ask questions with respectful curiosity? Do they have some ideas about what might help? Are they culturally sensitive and respectful of your religious beliefs?
Sex therapists should not watch you have sex during the session or go to your home to watch you have sex.
Lynda Carlyle is an Accredited Clinical Psychosexual Therapist with the Society of Australian Sexologists Ltd. She adheres to the Society’s Code of Ethics and Practice. To find out more, go to www.societyaustraliansexologists.org.au Code of Ethics and Practice
Lynda Carlyle also adheres to the Code of Conduct for General Health Services. Information about customer complaints.
What happens in a sex therapy session?
Our first session does not obligate us to further meetings. At the end of our first session, we will make a decision about further meetings.
Generally the first session is spent getting to know each other and evaluating the problem. I gather information gently and through our discussions we determine what outcomes you would like and what our goals should be. Sometimes people have a number of complaints, and they can’t all be tackled at once.
Couple sessions are usually conducted jointly and I often request an individual session with each partner.
Treatment will vary depending on the issue and therapy strategies often work in stages – you will find me a very collaborative therapist. Sex education is a vital part of my role.
Sex therapy is not “just talking.” Each appointment I give homework and reading to complete between sessions. This could include completing exercises or questionnaires, erotic exploration, reading or watching educational resources relating to our discussions and the presenting issue.
Homework is an integral part of therapy - it offers you the chance to practice new skills and try out different strategies. It is important - change can’t usually happen without trying something new; ideally most people want to phase out old unhelpful habits and bring in better ones.
In subsequent sessions, the at-home exercises are discussed and difficulties explored. Therapy can help the individual or couple explore their thinking and behaviour around sex and their relationship, and “re-learn” more satisfying sexual interaction.
How can it help?
- Painful Sex
- Lack of desire, arousal and orgasm
- Difficulties with erections or ejaculation
- Problems with differing levels of desire in a couple
- Difficulties resulting from infidelities
- Sexual concerns as a result of illness or surgery
Pro-active couples sometimes use sex therapy to enhance an already satisfying sex life and explore potential – it isn’t just for crisis management. Many people feel they benefit from improving how they communicate about sex and love learning new ways to pleasure each other.
Who goes to a sex therapist?
- Individuals wanting to deal with sexual identity issues
- Couples wanting to increase sexual intimacy
- People who want to deal with sexual inhibitions and improve their sexual confidence
- People who are dissatisfied with their sexual functioning
- Couples wanting to increase their connection and ability to communicate about sex
Is there a right time to see a sex therapist?
If you are in a relationship the decision about when to see a sex therapist might be a bit more complicated. Does your partner also feel that seeing a sex therapist is a positive step in resolving sexual issues or concerns? Are you planning on going together, or are you interested in going on your own? Either way, taking the first step and making an appointment can guide you on how best to encourage your partner’s support in the process.
An ethical sex therapist will suggest having an initial consultation, and if they feel that sex therapy isn’t going to be helpful they will, or should, let you know and refer you to a more appropriate clinician. Sometimes it is better to receive treatment for other, more pressing issues (like anxiety or depression) before returning to manage sexual problems.
If you feel that you could benefit from some support, education, information and a friendly chat from a professional who is trained in sexuality and comfortable talking about it, then sex therapy could be a great option for you.
How long does therapy take?
Often the path forward takes unexpected turns and the occasional detour. Many aspects of sex therapy take time to process and patience and persistence can be rewarded with long-term permanent change.
Should I see a sex therapist on my own or with my partner?
Sex therapy can be especially effective when both partners are involved and committed to the process. When seeing couples, I routinely see each member of the couple for an individual session at least once.
Sometimes partners can be resistant to the idea of attending – we can talk about whether it would be beneficial to include them and how to make it seem like a good idea.
What about confidentiality?
There are certain situations when information may not be kept confidential, which you should be aware of, as this may influence what you say during our sessions.
Information will not be kept confidential if:
- Failure to disclose the information would put you or another person at risk
- It is requested by a court
- You have given me prior approval to:
- Provide a written report to another professional e.g. GP or lawyer
- Discuss the material with another person e.g. partner or parent
I work with a supervisor to ensure ethical practice and for professional guidance. They do not know your name, or any details that would allow them to identify you. All reputable counsellors and therapists work with a supervisor.
Do you abide by a Code of Ethics?
I am also governed by a Code of Ethics and a Code of Professional Conduct as a Registered Nurse
One of the important roles of my supervisor is to regularly check that I am working ethically and effectively, in the best interests of my clients.
Lynda Carlyle also adheres to the Code of Conduct for General Health Services. Information about customer complaints.
Do I need a referral?
Do you offer any rebates?
Rebates through private health insurance for counselling services are currently being offered through Doctor's Health Fund, ARHG (CUA, Emergency Services Health, Phoenix Health Fund, GMHBA Health Insurance, Police Health, St Luke’s Health, Frank Health Insurance, Westfund Health Insurance), Bupa, AHM and Medibank Private customers may be able to claim. Phone them to check what your particular plan covers. A receipt with the necessary details to claim private health insurance can be requested at your consultation.
Doctors Health Fund: phone 1800 226 126 to find out if you are able to claim for counselling services.
The rebate is made against the fund members discretionary pool. Therefore, it is up to the fund member, how much they wish to claim back per session.
www.doctorshealthfund.com.au
AHM: phone 1300 569 715 or from overseas (+61) 2 4221 8888 to find out if you are able to claim for counselling services.
Counselling is available with some AHM extras and package cover, and involves talking therapy. You don’t need a referral from a GP to see a counsellor, and they have training in different areas, for people with different needs.
No waiting periods: which means you can start seeing a counsellor as soon as you’re ready.
Telehealth claims available: so if your recognised provider offers telehealth, you could choose where and when you see them.
Counselling has a combined, annual limit with Psychology, along with some other services, depending on what type of cover you have. AHM can pay benefits towards counselling services, on eligible cover.
To find out exactly what you can claim for when it comes to Counselling check out the extras or package product guides that include Counselling.
https://ahm.com.au/
Police Health Fund: phone 1800 603 603 to find out if you are able to claim for counselling services.
Who can make a claim? Only Police Health Members with relevant policies will be eligible for counselling rebates. Rebates can be claimed as part of extras benefits available to approximately 54,000 individuals. Only members with this type of policy can make a claim for counselling.
Eligible members will be able to claim back 80% of the cost of a counselling session, up to $80. Benefits are payable for one-on-one sessions, couples/family sessions and group sessions.
Counselling benefits and Psychology benefits have a combined annual maximum of $850, with a Counselling benefit sub-limit of $400 per person, up to $800 per policy covering two or more persons. While you can access their unique Rollover benefit for Psychology benefits, it is not available for Counselling specifically.
www.policehealth.com.au/faq-counselling-benefits
How do clients claim their Police Health rebates? If a Police Health member is eligible for a benefit, they should submit their claim through the normal channels that members are aware of.
Bupa: phone 1300 670 246 to find out if you are able to claim for counselling services.
Bupa pays benefits on an attendance basis. For counselling services provided by a Bupa recognised practitioner, a benefit is payable for one attendance, per member, per day, in accordance with the Bupa member’s product entitlement, yearly limits and Bupa’s fund rules.
Services claimable are as follows and invoices/receipts will be issued with the appropriate service description (as below) for the service provided to the Bupa member.
- Service Description
- Initial attendance - please note – a maximum of one initial attendance is payable per member, per provider, in a 12 month period
- Subsequent attendance
- Couple or family attendance
- Group attendance
N.B. Telehealth consultations or consultations provided by telephone are not covered by Bupa. Bupa will pay benefits only for the actual provision of counselling services directly to a Bupa member. No benefits apply to the preparation and provision of reports and assessments.
Bupa members will need to submit their claims to Bupa by mail, at a Bupa Retail Store or online via MyBupa.
Benefits for counselling services will only be paid for members on the appropriate level of extras cover. Extras covers include benefits for services that are not inpatient/hospital services, many of which are delivered by allied health providers.
Medibank Private: phone them on 132 331 to find out if you are able to claim for counselling services.
To make a claim, members must have a policy with the package bonus feature. The following Medibank Private products include package bonuses that can be used for counselling:
• PremierPlus, AdvantagePlus, Smartplus, HealthyPlus or their VIP corporate equivalents. These policies are no longer available for purchase but approximately 1.6 million existing policy holders still have these policies.
• Family Essentials
• Family Comprehensive
Members may need to check that they have not already used their package bonus for other services. You can do this by asking Medibank Private for a printout of your claim history.
If you are eligible to make a claim for counselling, you can submit your claim in two ways:
1. Make you claim in person at any Medibank Private retail outlet. When making a claim in person, you should say “I want to use my package bonus”.
2. Send in your claim via post to:
Medibank Private
Medical and Extras Claims
GPO Box 2984
Melbourne, VIC 3001
*IMPORTANT: Use the Medical & Extras Claim Form. In question 2 put a cross in the box “I’m claiming a bonus”.
Online claims for package bonuses are not available.
www.medibank.com.au
How much does it cost?
International clients with English language skills welcome (accents OK!). Cost AUD $200
Apologies to residents of the US and Canada – my indemnity insurance will not cover sessions with you.
What is your cancellation Policy?
Appointment times are heavily booked and other clients waiting on stand-by can be called if you cannot attend.
If you need to cancel or change an appointment, please advise me at least 48 hours before your scheduled appointment time to avoid being charged for your session.
If you are late for an appointment, the session will usually still need to finish on time to avoid inconvenience to other clients.
Do you offer counselling / therapy with issues other than sex therapy?
Although my main area of expertise is in sex and relationship therapy, sessions often focus on the impact of problems in other aspects of life that can affect relationships and sexual functioning. It is not uncommon to have sessions where sex is not discussed at all. For the most part, exploration of general issues is a normal part of any therapy process.
If I feel that the issue is outside my scope of practice, I may refer you to a more appropriate practitioner.
Do you offer Telehealth and Phone Sessions?
Apologies to residents of the US and Canada – my indemnity insurance will not cover sessions with you.
International clients with English language skills welcome (accents OK!).
Cost $200
Are you covered by indemnity insurance?
When do you have appointments available?
Is there parking available?
There is 2 hour parking, metered until 5.30pm weekdays & 12.30pm Saturdays in Cambridge Street. It is an active business zone and parking is at a premium.
It is suggested you park at the Coles Car Park on Little Oxford St and walk (3 – 5 minutes) to Cambridge St. Parking costs approximately $4 / hour and less if you shop at Coles.
Customer Complaints - Code of Conduct for General Health Services
If you are not satisfied with my service, please contact me. I take complaints seriously and aim to resolve them quickly and fairly.
If you remain dissatisfied with the response, you may contact the Health Complaints Commissioner (HCC). The HCC responds to complaints about health services and the handling of health information in Victoria. Their service is free, confidential and impartial. To lodge a complaint with the HCC:
Fill out a complaint form online at www.hcc.vic.gov.au or phone 1300 582 113 between 9am and 5pm, Monday to Friday to discuss your complaint.
Australian Counselling Association. (2016) Scope of Practice for registered Counsellors